shove it down your pie hole.

VEGAN JERK TVP ROTI

I can eat almost anything in a wrap. So when we came across these authentic roti wraps in kensington market today, I knew I had to make us some delicious vegan jerk.

Armed with a bushel of kale, tvp chunks, & fresh cauliflower and potatoes, I dedicated my Sunday to preparing what I’m now calling my ‘meal of the century.’ 

This spicy, hearty, flavourful wrap packs enough punch to wake up your tastebuds, and is filling enough to last you the rest of the day. Plus it’s super healthy so you won’t feel guilty for immediately passing out on the couch afterwards while watching the newest episodes of Arrested Development on Netflix. 

Make this because: Let’s be honest. You don’t cook with jerk, but you’ve always wanted to. 

INGREDIENTS:

2 Cups, Low Sodium Broth
1 Cup, TVP Chunks
2 T, Freshly squeezed Orange Juice
2 T, Lime juice
3 medium red potatoes (or whatever rates you want, really), cut into bite size pieces
1/4 Cauliflower, cut into manageable pieces
1 Cup, Kale, chopped and de-stemmed.
2 Cloves, Garlic, chopped suuuuuper fine
1 Heaping T, Jerk Sauce (I used organic store bought, but you can whip some up using this)
Roti Wraps
Optional Toppings (lettuce, tomato, fried plantain, etc etc)
Optional Sauce: Tahini Dressing

DIRECTIONS:

Bring broth to a boil. Add TVP and reduce to simmer. Add in Garlic, OJ, Lime and Jerk. 

Meanwhile, cut and boil potatoes for ten mins and steam cauliflower for 5-10. 

Add to TVP and stir well. Let simmer in juices for at least an hour. Add in your kale and stir. 

Let simmer until all of the flavour has mixed in well. 

IF (BIG IF) your mix is toooooo spicy, add in a touch of apple cider vinegar OR a teaspoon of brown sugar (or Palm Sugar). Continue adding little by little until the heat is tolerable. 

NOW, so far all you’ve had to do is put a bunch of food in a big pot and stir it every 30 mins or so.

How can you NOT make this every day? AMIRIGHT!

Unwrap your large roti wrap, toss in a bunch of your mixture, roll up, and heat in a skillet until lightly browned on all sides. Looks like you’re ready to eat, my friend. 

Oh, and thinking about making a dressing for the side? Need a nice cold white sauce perhaps? 

No worries! I’ve got you covered. 

Garlic Dill Avocado Tahini Sauce

Ingredients:

4 T, Tahini
2 Cloves Garlic
1 T, OJ
1 T Lime
1/2 Avocado
1/2 t, dill
One green onion, cut into small pieces
Pinch of salt

Directions:

Blend all of the ingredients together. Add 1T of cold water at a time until desired consistency is reached. As this is happening, you may want to add more lime/OJ/salt/Garlic to taste. It’s up to you how powerful you want it. This stuff is delicious. You’re going to love it. 

Okay! So, you have this enormous roti, filled with potato, cauliflower, a deliciously spicy TVP, kale, and of course, love. You’ve smothered it in this avocado dill tahini, and you’re sitting down to enjoy what I’m sure will be your most delicious meal of the week/month/year. I suggest you call someone over and share this delicious meal with them. After all, you want people to know how amazing you can cook, and nothing says master chef like some vegan jerk roti. Fact.

Enjoy, kiddies. 

Dave

HANGOVER BREAKFAST BOWLS

Your alarm clock goes off and you’ve already hit the snooze button 487 times. Somehow you find the strength to peel yourself from in between your sheets, and you hop into last nights jeans to start your day. It’s 8:45. You’ve got 15 minutes to get to work, but first things first, you need some nourishment. 

You could easily grab a $4 breakfast sandwich from Tim’s, or stop in at the <insert chain restaurant here> and grab an overpriced breakfast in hopes of fighting off your massive hangover. 

But wait - you spent an hour this past Sunday preparing the below recipe, and that means you are more than taken care of. 

This all vegan recipe is incredibly easy to prepare, no matter how difficult it may seem. I promise you this. 

With ONE ingredient, you can make these amazing little hash brown nests, and then fill them up with one of the most delicious Tofu Scramble recipes EVER. Add in the fact that you can freeze these beauties and heat them up in only a few minutes, and you have yourself a winner. 

Make these because: You don’t need to be awake in the morning to enjoy a delicious homemade breakfast. You’re welcome.

INGREDIENTS:

1 Brick, extra firm tofu
1/2 red pepper, chopped
3 cloves, garlic
1 medium shallot, diced
1 jalapeño, minced
1/2 t, turmeric
1 t, paprika
1 cup, Kale, cut into small pieces, stems removed.
1 T, Lemon juice 
2 baking potatoes
1 T, chipotle (optional)
1/2 T, brags (or low sodium soya sauce)
2 T, nutritional yeast (or daiya/cheese)
S&P

DIRECTIONS:

Clean and scrub your potatoes. Bake in the oven at 400• for 45-60 minutes. 

You don’t want to cook them until they are too soft. Just enough so that you can grate them. Once done, cool in the fridge, peel, and grate. 

Press your tofu and try to get out as much water as possible. Break up into a big bowl and with your hands. Break it down as much as possible. Add in your turmeric, chipotle, paprika and a little salt. 

Mix it all together and set aside. 

Now, heat some oil in a pan on low and toss in your onion. Once translucent, add in red pepper, garlic, & jalapeños. Cook for about five minutes. 

Add in the tofu scramble and raise heat to medium. 

Now, add in your brags and nutritional yeast, stir well, and finally add in your kale and lemon juice. 

Grab a muffin tray, and either spray it with cooking oil, or simply take a little bit of vegan butter and rub the edges with a paper towel. 

Spoon in a hefty portion of the grated potato and push down, forming a nest. 

Finish off with a grind of pepper and bake in the over at 450 for about 20 minutes. 

Once crispy on the top, fill with a spoon or two of scramble, pack it in, and return to the oven for another 10-15 minutes. 

See, that wasn’t difficult, was it?

Once they’ve cooled down, you can easily remove them from the tray with a spoon or fork. 

I wrapped mine in tin-foil and put them in the freezer so I can reheat quickly in the mornings. 

 YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THESE!!

Spend the rest of the day bragging to your friends about how amazing these breakfast cups taste. Even better, reheat one of these the next time you’re having a slower than normal morning and watch how fast you start to feel better. 

Kale Pasta w Creamy Avocado Tahini

I had less than thirty minutes and needed a healthy, filling, dinner. 

Instead of doing what we all wish we could do every night (duh, order pizza), I decided to whip up this simple pasta dish. 

It’s also spring and I really enjoy cold pasta dishes (at least the healthy ones), so I cooled off the leftovers and guess what? 

It was delicious.

Oh, and there’s like, 0.5 ingredients. There’s really no excuse. 

Make this because: Eating pasta with pasta sauce from a jar doesn’t cut it anymore. You’re better than that.

Ingredients:

2 servings of a small Pasta 
1/4 bush, Kale
1 Avocado
4 T, Tahini
1/2-1 Lemon (or lime if thats what you have)
2 cloves, Garlic
4 T, or more, Water 
S&P
(optional) sprinkle of Chili Flakes
(optional) Olive Oil

Directions:

Cook pasta as per instructions. 

In blender, mix everything else (minus Kale & chili flakes)).

Add water, S&P as needed, until you have a nice creamy mixture, with a garlicky bite.

Once pasta is done, strain and return to pot with a small drip of olive oil. Add in sauce and stir, keeping pot on low. 

Cut the stems from your kale and discard, then cut leaves (make sure they’re washed), into small, bite sized pieces. 

Add to pasta and mix well. Top with a sprinkle of chili flakes if you want. I always do, and I’m awesome.

Now for the fun part. 

EAT IT!

Or chill the whole darn thing. Whatever makes you happy, bb. 

Enjoy!

Dave 

SPICY GREEN WINTER SOUP

I’m going to Austin, Texas next week to take part in the annual SXSW music festival. While the main portion of the week will be spent working (trying to find clients for my new, super-amazing job at Ticketfly), I plan on partying hard and seeing as many bands as possible. More importantly, I will be enjoying the beautiful weather. And I’m sure you can relate. The winter here in Toronto has been less than hospitable and I’m ready for some sun!

Which brings me to my latest recipe. A thick, hearty, vegan soup, made out of only a few ingredients, which only took me about 30 minutes to make. Because it may be cold, but we sure as hell don’t have to be. 

Sound like your kind of meal? I thought so too. 

Make this because: We all need an excuse to vigorously blend things once in a while. Plus, you can have 1,000 pieces of bread with it and nobody will judge you. 

Ingredients:
1 head, Cauliflower
1 head, Broccoli
1 Shallot
3 ounces, Spinnach
2-3 cloves of garlic
2 cups, broth (low sodium if possible)
1/4 Cup, Nutritional Yeast
1.5 Cups, Unsweetened Rice Milk (or alternative)
1 Avocado
1 t, nutmeg
2 T, Vegan Butter
1 T, Red Chili Flakes
1 T, Flour (omit if GF)
Cracked Black pepper

Directions:
On low heat, melt butter. Add chopped up onion and garlic and sauté for a good few minutes. Once translucent, add pepper and nutmeg, and stir it in.

Cook for another minute before adding your flour, Spinach, Cauliflower and Broccoli. Mix well, and raise heat to med. Add broth and cover for 10-15 minutes or until the veggies are nice and soft. 
Add milk, chili flakes, nutritional yeast & remove from heat. 

So far, we’ve spent a total of 20-25 minutes in the kitchen. 

You’re doing great. 

Now, you can either hand blend this, or use a traditional blender. But whatever you do, make sure you only pulse it, and never fill your blender to much because soup is hot and it will explode. 

Trust me. 

Now, pour your soup back into your giant pot to heat, carve some bread, and get ready for a delicious homemade meal. Garnish with more pepper and your avocado (and vegan sour cream if you so desire). 

For my cheese loving friends. You might not have Nutritional Yeast on hand, or you might just prefer real cheese in your soup. If that is the case, you can omit the N.Yeast and at the very end, add a few cubes of mozzarella. It will melt and be all gooey and you’ll be all like, “daaaaaamn.” or whatever your popular catch phrase is this week. 

Enjoy, lovelies. 

2013 Trials! 

Creating recipes means getting creative.

I’ve been using a lot of cauliflower recently to make some pretty cool new dishes including latkes and a delicious taco filling. 

On top of that, I’ve been working on different variations on my now infamous Seitan. I used them in a delicious cheesesteak calzone while I perfect my pastry in anticipation of my biggest project this year; creating a mind blowing Stout Pie. 

You’re in for a real treat. 

In the meantime, here are some delicious pictures of what I’ve been working on. Enjoy!

Oh, and if you want any of the recipes above, just let me know. 
XO

Jalapeño, Avocado & Brie Poppers 

I read the back of a box of jalapeño poppers the other day. Needless to say, I was sorely disappointed in what I read. There was a ton of ingredients I couldn’t even make out (anything with a number in it is normally a bad sign), but more importantly, I don’t even think they were vegetarian. Sigh. 

Now, you and I both know how amazing the combination of brie and avocado is. But add in Jalapeño and we’re talking next level. 

But I didn’t want to “recreate” poppers today. No, today I had my creative juices flowing. So I took it up a notch. I made a mexican bean and seitan chipotle dough, stuffed it with Peppers, Avo and Brie, and fried/baked those suckers into golden deliciousness. 

And before we get started, I’d like to tell you that I made these in under an hour. Seriously. 

From Scratch. Prep and cooking time - UNDER 60 minutes. 

Make these because: Nothing in the world will make you as happy as putting these poppers down your pie hole. 

INGREDIENTS: 

1 Can (19fl oz) red mexican beans

1 Cup Gluten Flour

1 t, chipotle, cumin, garlic

1 T, Tomato paste

1 Cup, Broth 

1/2 Cup, Breadcrumbs 

1 Avocado 

1 Jalapeño, cut into small pieces 

Brie

lil’ milk

lil breadcrumbs

Oil for frying

DIRECTIONS:

Prepare broth. 

Preheat oven to 400•

Preheat a frying pan with oil (enough to cover the bottom, but not too much).

Rinse Beans (and smash them soooo good). 

Mix spices in with Gluten flour. Add to beans and slowly stir in half your broth. 

Mix together well until you have a dough like substance. Add more broth, paste, and breadcrumbs. 

You’ll now have a beany, seitan, crumby dough. And it’s going to be awesome. 

Dice up your Avo, jalapeño and brie. 

Separate a handful of dough and roll it out as thin as possible. 

Put a pile of Avo/Brie/Jal in the middle of your seitan dough, and wrap up as tight as possible. If there are holes or cracks, fill them in with more seitan mix. 

They should end up being about the size of a yoyo, or smaller. 

Now, time to dredge. 

On a small plate, pour out some milk (I use rice or almond). 

Next door, pour some breadcrumbs on to another plate. 

Anyone else starving right now?

Roll your seitan balls in the milk, then the crumbs, and toss into the hot oil. I say toss, but really, carefully place them in the oil.

Cook on all sides until brown. 

Now, put them in your preheated oven for 20 mins or less. When they are piping hot and starting to ooze cheese…. remove.

Note: if you roll them properly, your cheese will not spew. 

Full disclosure. I hate that word. *Spew*

Serve with a salsa, or get creative! And don’t forget to place on some paper towel to get rid of the excess oil. Because nobody needs that. 

SWEET POTATO & TOFU PATTIES 

Hey pals! 

Here’s a delicious addition to your breakfast arsenal. Make it on those iffy days where you just can’t figure out what to eat. I made these on a cold winter weekend, and they couldn’t have turned out better. Served with homefries and sautéed spinach, these won’t disappoint. Oh, and someone please remind me to have my camera charged at all times. Phones are cool and all, but they don’t take the best pictures. 

Ingredients:
One brick, extra firm tofu
One sweet potato 
One T, Soya Sauce (low sodium)
One Clove, garlic
One t, lemon juice
One T, Flour
One-Two T, Vegan Butter 
One Cup, Soy Milk
One t, mustard
One Cup, cheese/daiya
Cracked black pepper

DIRECTIONS:
Skin and cut your sweet potato. 
Boil in water until soft. Mash! Add a T of Butter if needed. Add salt & pepper as needed. 

While preparing the above, cut tofu into rectangles, about 1/2 an inch thick. Press out liquid and soak in mixture of garlic, soya sauce and lemon. 

Pan fry tofu until nice and brown. 

In saucepan, melt 1T of butter. Add flour and stir into paste. Slowly add milk at high temp while stirring vigorously. Sauce will thicken. 
Add cracked black pepper, mustard and cheese. If too thick, add more milk. 

Now, spoon a hefty portion of sweet potato onto tofu and top with cheese sauce. 

Make this because: You should prove to people that tofu scramble isn’t the only breakfast alternative you know. 

Merry Christmas everyone.

Here’s our Tofurkey, basted with a Poultry Seasoning/Shallot concoction, and highlighted with Yorkshire pudding, veggie gravy, carrots, peas, brussels sprouts, mashed potatoes, stuffing, and steamed kale! 

This year we had the pleasure of hosting a new guest who recently lost someone very near and dear to her. We have always had an open door policy, especially during the holidays, and our newly vegan friend was beyond excited to get a home cooked meal and some good company. It was our absolute pleasure. 

Anyway,

From my family to you and yours..

I hope you all had a wonderful Holiday filled with love and happiness. 

Dave Lock

Easy Seitan Sausages!

I have to just write this out and tell you the recipe, because with every passing second, my inner 10 year old is telling me to make dirty sausage jokes, and I know for a fact that I will give in. 

So here goes…

It’s often difficult to create a delectable protein that can be used in a variety of ways. This sausage does just that. 

Side order at Breakfast, in a pasta sauce, in a bun (straight from the BBQ), or just cut up and put in a sandwich. You can’t go wrong. 

The ingredients are simple, and if you’re a vegetarian, you should have all of this in your kitchen already. if not, everything listed is worth the investment. 

Make this because: You can tell all the jokes that I wanted to tell, but didn’t because my mom reads this and would not be impressed.

INGREDIENTS:

1 C, Gluten Flour
1 C (or less), Low Sodium Broth (I use Fake Beef)
1/2 t, each: Garlic powder, Onion powder, Cayenne
1 t, Cumin
1/4 T, Paprika
3/4 T, Soy Sauce (Low sodium)
3 T, Nutritional Yeast
2 Squirts, Liquid Smoke

RECIPE:

Mix wet ingredients together and make sure it is cool (fridge or freezer works quickest). 
Mix dry ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly. 
Now, mix wet + dry together. BUT WAIT! 
Add half of the liquid, mix, and add more little by little until you have an evenly formed “dough” ball. No remaining dry mix. You do not want to over soak your seitan. 
Now, cut into 3 even pieces and roll into a sausage. 
Place in tinfoil and carefully wrap it up, twisting the edges when complete. 
Steam for 40 minutes, flipping to make sure it steams evenly. 

Remove from heat, tinfoil, and check it out!!! SAUSAGE!

Now, get creative! 

Merry Christmas. 

Quinoa Curry, In a Hurry. 

Cook quinoa. Add whatever veggies you want ( I used carrot, peas, lentils), and add a tablespoon or two of your fav curry spice. I added strained tomato as well, and you can even add coconut milk. It’s easy, fast & delicious. I highly advise Naan on the side. 

Fin. 

Guacamole is super simple which means it’s pretty hard to screw up.

But there are thousands upon thousands of variations, 
all of which can be considered ’good’ (but not necessarily the best).

My guac has won many awards including: 
‘Best Superbowl Dip’ & ’Munchie Party Must have of 2010.’ 

And so what if I made both of those up- It’s seriously that good.

Follow these simple instructions to improve your guac. 

Ingredients:
Avocado (3)
3 strips of an onion, diced
1.5 limes
2 cloves garlic, diced
S&P 

Dirrrrections:
Squeeze lime juice into bowl with onion and garlic. Add two grinds of salt. 
LEAVE IT FOR TEN MINUTES.

Keep waiting, seriously.

That’s it. That’s the secret. 

‘Cook’ the onion and garlic by leaving it in the lime juice and salt for about ten minutes. Now, add your avo and pepper. Maybe more salt if you want, and you’re done. NOTE: Do not actually cook the garlic and onion. Just let it sit in the lime juice. This will soften it. ;)

Now, Take the party master award for being an epic guac maker. You’re welcome. 

Another Delicious Breakfast over here at Shove It Down Your Pie Hole.

Avo-Scramble-Cado

Avocados make the perfect bowls for a light breakfast. 
Toss your Scrambled Tofu (or eggs) right into your Avo halves, and top it off with a quickly made Guac. 

Easy, right? Serve with some PB on toast and some fresh fruit. 

Have a great breakfast.  And an even better day. 

MEXI BOWLS

Cool, right? 

I got to thinking that as much as I love corn, and corn tacos, and whole wheat tortillas and all that jazz, there was an element missing. 

Okay, I’ll be honest, I was in the mood for pizza and mexican, and didn’t know what to do about it. I couldn’t make tacos AND pizza, could I?

Insert Mexi Bowls. 

I took a simple dough recipe, and made cute little bowls. 

Alright. I lied. I folded the edges of my pizza dough up and it kinda resembled a bowl. Same thing. 

Anyway, I took all of my fav taco toppings, made a quick chipotle/tomato sauce, and baked these giant mexi bowls for the perfect combination of deliciousness and gluttony. And no regrets. 

While this recipe can easily take on any ingredients, based on your own preferences, I will share with you what I made, and let you decide what creation you’re going to whip up. 

Ingredients:

1/2 pack, Ground Round (Yves)
1/2 Cup, Corn
1/2 Green pepper, chopped
1/4 small onion, chopped
1 Avocado
1/2 small jar, Artichokes
Shredded Cheese
1/2 glass jar, strained tomatoes
2 heaping T, tomato paste
1-2 T, Chipotle (depending on your heat tolerance)
Paprika & Oil

Dough:

4 cups of white sifted flour
1 1/2 cups, plus 2 tbsp of water
2 tsp of salt
1/2 tsp of dry active yeast
1t honey

Mix all ingredients by hand until dough forms. 

Leave for 1.5 hours, covered. Once done, make into smaller balls (one one large one if you want a giant pizza) and let rest for another 30. 

Directions:

Make the dough above.

Heat the ground round with onion, green pepper and corn, on medium heat unitl cooked, maybe 6-8 minutes. 
Mix together Tomato and Chipotle (this will be your sauce). 
Chop remaining ingredients (again, you can use whatever you’d like)
Mix together about 1/2T of paprika and 2T of Olive oil, to spread along the outside of your bowl. 

Roll out your dough into small singe serving pizza doughs (about a med) and add your sauce, 1/2 the cheese, ground round mix, the toppings, saving some cheese for later.
Leave about 1n inch of dough around the edges and fold it up, around your mix.
Remember, this is a giant bowl of delicious food, so don’t skimp out.
When the edges are folded up, press them tightly against the toppings so it doesn’t move. 
Brush the outside with your oil and paprika and toss in the oven at 400 for 20-30 minutes. Add the remaining cheese during the last few minutes. 

I’m so thankful I made these. You will be too. 

Easy Breakfast Ideas: Tatty Stackers

I’ve started taking pictures of the delicious meals I make for breakfast. Normally breakfast is boring, especially with the 9-5 grind, but take some motivation from these posts and enjoy a little variety in your life.  

Even better, make these over the weekend and earn some serious bonus points for creativity. Oh wow, I just had a thought. How awkward would it be if you played these creative ideas off as your own, only to find out your partner reads my blog as well? Better play it safe and just give me all the credit. I mean, for your sake. 

Earlier this week I created a very simple breakfast meal that gave me everything I needed to start the day. It’s easier than getting dressed, so I’ll give you the quick points. 

Directions:

Thinly slice a potato into medallions.

Stack & Bake (as you normally would, like 450 for 30-40) after topping with olive oil and your fav spices. In this case, I used Thyme and Rosemary (1/2 teaspoon or less per potato). In the final few minutes, I put a few thin slices of cheese in between the medallions. Delish. 

Now, Boil an egg, cut up a kiwi, and enjoy!  

Have a breakfast regiment that you swear by? Do tell, yo.