shove it down your pie hole.

HANGOVER BREAKFAST BOWLS

Your alarm clock goes off and you’ve already hit the snooze button 487 times. Somehow you find the strength to peel yourself from in between your sheets, and you hop into last nights jeans to start your day. It’s 8:45. You’ve got 15 minutes to get to work, but first things first, you need some nourishment. 

You could easily grab a $4 breakfast sandwich from Tim’s, or stop in at the <insert chain restaurant here> and grab an overpriced breakfast in hopes of fighting off your massive hangover. 

But wait - you spent an hour this past Sunday preparing the below recipe, and that means you are more than taken care of. 

This all vegan recipe is incredibly easy to prepare, no matter how difficult it may seem. I promise you this. 

With ONE ingredient, you can make these amazing little hash brown nests, and then fill them up with one of the most delicious Tofu Scramble recipes EVER. Add in the fact that you can freeze these beauties and heat them up in only a few minutes, and you have yourself a winner. 

Make these because: You don’t need to be awake in the morning to enjoy a delicious homemade breakfast. You’re welcome.

INGREDIENTS:

1 Brick, extra firm tofu
1/2 red pepper, chopped
3 cloves, garlic
1 medium shallot, diced
1 jalapeño, minced
1/2 t, turmeric
1 t, paprika
1 cup, Kale, cut into small pieces, stems removed.
1 T, Lemon juice 
2 baking potatoes
1 T, chipotle (optional)
1/2 T, brags (or low sodium soya sauce)
2 T, nutritional yeast (or daiya/cheese)
S&P

DIRECTIONS:

Clean and scrub your potatoes. Bake in the oven at 400• for 45-60 minutes. 

You don’t want to cook them until they are too soft. Just enough so that you can grate them. Once done, cool in the fridge, peel, and grate. 

Press your tofu and try to get out as much water as possible. Break up into a big bowl and with your hands. Break it down as much as possible. Add in your turmeric, chipotle, paprika and a little salt. 

Mix it all together and set aside. 

Now, heat some oil in a pan on low and toss in your onion. Once translucent, add in red pepper, garlic, & jalapeños. Cook for about five minutes. 

Add in the tofu scramble and raise heat to medium. 

Now, add in your brags and nutritional yeast, stir well, and finally add in your kale and lemon juice. 

Grab a muffin tray, and either spray it with cooking oil, or simply take a little bit of vegan butter and rub the edges with a paper towel. 

Spoon in a hefty portion of the grated potato and push down, forming a nest. 

Finish off with a grind of pepper and bake in the over at 450 for about 20 minutes. 

Once crispy on the top, fill with a spoon or two of scramble, pack it in, and return to the oven for another 10-15 minutes. 

See, that wasn’t difficult, was it?

Once they’ve cooled down, you can easily remove them from the tray with a spoon or fork. 

I wrapped mine in tin-foil and put them in the freezer so I can reheat quickly in the mornings. 

 YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THESE!!

Spend the rest of the day bragging to your friends about how amazing these breakfast cups taste. Even better, reheat one of these the next time you’re having a slower than normal morning and watch how fast you start to feel better. 

Kale Pasta w Creamy Avocado Tahini

I had less than thirty minutes and needed a healthy, filling, dinner. 

Instead of doing what we all wish we could do every night (duh, order pizza), I decided to whip up this simple pasta dish. 

It’s also spring and I really enjoy cold pasta dishes (at least the healthy ones), so I cooled off the leftovers and guess what? 

It was delicious.

Oh, and there’s like, 0.5 ingredients. There’s really no excuse. 

Make this because: Eating pasta with pasta sauce from a jar doesn’t cut it anymore. You’re better than that.

Ingredients:

2 servings of a small Pasta 
1/4 bush, Kale
1 Avocado
4 T, Tahini
1/2-1 Lemon (or lime if thats what you have)
2 cloves, Garlic
4 T, or more, Water 
S&P
(optional) sprinkle of Chili Flakes
(optional) Olive Oil

Directions:

Cook pasta as per instructions. 

In blender, mix everything else (minus Kale & chili flakes)).

Add water, S&P as needed, until you have a nice creamy mixture, with a garlicky bite.

Once pasta is done, strain and return to pot with a small drip of olive oil. Add in sauce and stir, keeping pot on low. 

Cut the stems from your kale and discard, then cut leaves (make sure they’re washed), into small, bite sized pieces. 

Add to pasta and mix well. Top with a sprinkle of chili flakes if you want. I always do, and I’m awesome.

Now for the fun part. 

EAT IT!

Or chill the whole darn thing. Whatever makes you happy, bb. 

Enjoy!

Dave 

2013 Trials! 

Creating recipes means getting creative.

I’ve been using a lot of cauliflower recently to make some pretty cool new dishes including latkes and a delicious taco filling. 

On top of that, I’ve been working on different variations on my now infamous Seitan. I used them in a delicious cheesesteak calzone while I perfect my pastry in anticipation of my biggest project this year; creating a mind blowing Stout Pie. 

You’re in for a real treat. 

In the meantime, here are some delicious pictures of what I’ve been working on. Enjoy!

Oh, and if you want any of the recipes above, just let me know. 
XO

Jalapeño, Avocado & Brie Poppers 

I read the back of a box of jalapeño poppers the other day. Needless to say, I was sorely disappointed in what I read. There was a ton of ingredients I couldn’t even make out (anything with a number in it is normally a bad sign), but more importantly, I don’t even think they were vegetarian. Sigh. 

Now, you and I both know how amazing the combination of brie and avocado is. But add in Jalapeño and we’re talking next level. 

But I didn’t want to “recreate” poppers today. No, today I had my creative juices flowing. So I took it up a notch. I made a mexican bean and seitan chipotle dough, stuffed it with Peppers, Avo and Brie, and fried/baked those suckers into golden deliciousness. 

And before we get started, I’d like to tell you that I made these in under an hour. Seriously. 

From Scratch. Prep and cooking time - UNDER 60 minutes. 

Make these because: Nothing in the world will make you as happy as putting these poppers down your pie hole. 

INGREDIENTS: 

1 Can (19fl oz) red mexican beans

1 Cup Gluten Flour

1 t, chipotle, cumin, garlic

1 T, Tomato paste

1 Cup, Broth 

1/2 Cup, Breadcrumbs 

1 Avocado 

1 Jalapeño, cut into small pieces 

Brie

lil’ milk

lil breadcrumbs

Oil for frying

DIRECTIONS:

Prepare broth. 

Preheat oven to 400•

Preheat a frying pan with oil (enough to cover the bottom, but not too much).

Rinse Beans (and smash them soooo good). 

Mix spices in with Gluten flour. Add to beans and slowly stir in half your broth. 

Mix together well until you have a dough like substance. Add more broth, paste, and breadcrumbs. 

You’ll now have a beany, seitan, crumby dough. And it’s going to be awesome. 

Dice up your Avo, jalapeño and brie. 

Separate a handful of dough and roll it out as thin as possible. 

Put a pile of Avo/Brie/Jal in the middle of your seitan dough, and wrap up as tight as possible. If there are holes or cracks, fill them in with more seitan mix. 

They should end up being about the size of a yoyo, or smaller. 

Now, time to dredge. 

On a small plate, pour out some milk (I use rice or almond). 

Next door, pour some breadcrumbs on to another plate. 

Anyone else starving right now?

Roll your seitan balls in the milk, then the crumbs, and toss into the hot oil. I say toss, but really, carefully place them in the oil.

Cook on all sides until brown. 

Now, put them in your preheated oven for 20 mins or less. When they are piping hot and starting to ooze cheese…. remove.

Note: if you roll them properly, your cheese will not spew. 

Full disclosure. I hate that word. *Spew*

Serve with a salsa, or get creative! And don’t forget to place on some paper towel to get rid of the excess oil. Because nobody needs that. 

Easy Seitan Sausages!

I have to just write this out and tell you the recipe, because with every passing second, my inner 10 year old is telling me to make dirty sausage jokes, and I know for a fact that I will give in. 

So here goes…

It’s often difficult to create a delectable protein that can be used in a variety of ways. This sausage does just that. 

Side order at Breakfast, in a pasta sauce, in a bun (straight from the BBQ), or just cut up and put in a sandwich. You can’t go wrong. 

The ingredients are simple, and if you’re a vegetarian, you should have all of this in your kitchen already. if not, everything listed is worth the investment. 

Make this because: You can tell all the jokes that I wanted to tell, but didn’t because my mom reads this and would not be impressed.

INGREDIENTS:

1 C, Gluten Flour
1 C (or less), Low Sodium Broth (I use Fake Beef)
1/2 t, each: Garlic powder, Onion powder, Cayenne
1 t, Cumin
1/4 T, Paprika
3/4 T, Soy Sauce (Low sodium)
3 T, Nutritional Yeast
2 Squirts, Liquid Smoke

RECIPE:

Mix wet ingredients together and make sure it is cool (fridge or freezer works quickest). 
Mix dry ingredients in a bowl and mix thoroughly. 
Now, mix wet + dry together. BUT WAIT! 
Add half of the liquid, mix, and add more little by little until you have an evenly formed “dough” ball. No remaining dry mix. You do not want to over soak your seitan. 
Now, cut into 3 even pieces and roll into a sausage. 
Place in tinfoil and carefully wrap it up, twisting the edges when complete. 
Steam for 40 minutes, flipping to make sure it steams evenly. 

Remove from heat, tinfoil, and check it out!!! SAUSAGE!

Now, get creative! 

Merry Christmas. 

Quinoa Curry, In a Hurry. 

Cook quinoa. Add whatever veggies you want ( I used carrot, peas, lentils), and add a tablespoon or two of your fav curry spice. I added strained tomato as well, and you can even add coconut milk. It’s easy, fast & delicious. I highly advise Naan on the side. 

Fin. 

Guacamole is super simple which means it’s pretty hard to screw up.

But there are thousands upon thousands of variations, 
all of which can be considered ’good’ (but not necessarily the best).

My guac has won many awards including: 
‘Best Superbowl Dip’ & ’Munchie Party Must have of 2010.’ 

And so what if I made both of those up- It’s seriously that good.

Follow these simple instructions to improve your guac. 

Ingredients:
Avocado (3)
3 strips of an onion, diced
1.5 limes
2 cloves garlic, diced
S&P 

Dirrrrections:
Squeeze lime juice into bowl with onion and garlic. Add two grinds of salt. 
LEAVE IT FOR TEN MINUTES.

Keep waiting, seriously.

That’s it. That’s the secret. 

‘Cook’ the onion and garlic by leaving it in the lime juice and salt for about ten minutes. Now, add your avo and pepper. Maybe more salt if you want, and you’re done. NOTE: Do not actually cook the garlic and onion. Just let it sit in the lime juice. This will soften it. ;)

Now, Take the party master award for being an epic guac maker. You’re welcome. 

Another Delicious Breakfast over here at Shove It Down Your Pie Hole.

MEXI BOWLS

Cool, right? 

I got to thinking that as much as I love corn, and corn tacos, and whole wheat tortillas and all that jazz, there was an element missing. 

Okay, I’ll be honest, I was in the mood for pizza and mexican, and didn’t know what to do about it. I couldn’t make tacos AND pizza, could I?

Insert Mexi Bowls. 

I took a simple dough recipe, and made cute little bowls. 

Alright. I lied. I folded the edges of my pizza dough up and it kinda resembled a bowl. Same thing. 

Anyway, I took all of my fav taco toppings, made a quick chipotle/tomato sauce, and baked these giant mexi bowls for the perfect combination of deliciousness and gluttony. And no regrets. 

While this recipe can easily take on any ingredients, based on your own preferences, I will share with you what I made, and let you decide what creation you’re going to whip up. 

Ingredients:

1/2 pack, Ground Round (Yves)
1/2 Cup, Corn
1/2 Green pepper, chopped
1/4 small onion, chopped
1 Avocado
1/2 small jar, Artichokes
Shredded Cheese
1/2 glass jar, strained tomatoes
2 heaping T, tomato paste
1-2 T, Chipotle (depending on your heat tolerance)
Paprika & Oil

Dough:

4 cups of white sifted flour
1 1/2 cups, plus 2 tbsp of water
2 tsp of salt
1/2 tsp of dry active yeast
1t honey

Mix all ingredients by hand until dough forms. 

Leave for 1.5 hours, covered. Once done, make into smaller balls (one one large one if you want a giant pizza) and let rest for another 30. 

Directions:

Make the dough above.

Heat the ground round with onion, green pepper and corn, on medium heat unitl cooked, maybe 6-8 minutes. 
Mix together Tomato and Chipotle (this will be your sauce). 
Chop remaining ingredients (again, you can use whatever you’d like)
Mix together about 1/2T of paprika and 2T of Olive oil, to spread along the outside of your bowl. 

Roll out your dough into small singe serving pizza doughs (about a med) and add your sauce, 1/2 the cheese, ground round mix, the toppings, saving some cheese for later.
Leave about 1n inch of dough around the edges and fold it up, around your mix.
Remember, this is a giant bowl of delicious food, so don’t skimp out.
When the edges are folded up, press them tightly against the toppings so it doesn’t move. 
Brush the outside with your oil and paprika and toss in the oven at 400 for 20-30 minutes. Add the remaining cheese during the last few minutes. 

I’m so thankful I made these. You will be too. 

Easy Breakfast Ideas: Tatty Stackers

I’ve started taking pictures of the delicious meals I make for breakfast. Normally breakfast is boring, especially with the 9-5 grind, but take some motivation from these posts and enjoy a little variety in your life.  

Even better, make these over the weekend and earn some serious bonus points for creativity. Oh wow, I just had a thought. How awkward would it be if you played these creative ideas off as your own, only to find out your partner reads my blog as well? Better play it safe and just give me all the credit. I mean, for your sake. 

Earlier this week I created a very simple breakfast meal that gave me everything I needed to start the day. It’s easier than getting dressed, so I’ll give you the quick points. 

Directions:

Thinly slice a potato into medallions.

Stack & Bake (as you normally would, like 450 for 30-40) after topping with olive oil and your fav spices. In this case, I used Thyme and Rosemary (1/2 teaspoon or less per potato). In the final few minutes, I put a few thin slices of cheese in between the medallions. Delish. 

Now, Boil an egg, cut up a kiwi, and enjoy!  

Have a breakfast regiment that you swear by? Do tell, yo.

Kale + Tempeh. Together, forever. 

I used to make tempeh salad sammies all the time. And they were good. REAL good. But I’m never one to keep a recipe as is. In fact, it’s rare that I make the same recipe twice. After all, I have a cupboard full of spices, and a bunch of really cool pals that like to taste-test my experiments. 

I just got back from the local market (Yes, it’s November), and found the must delicious looking purple kale. Organic, local, and I’m pretty sure the farmers are masked super heros at night. That kind of good. 

As for me, I liked the colour, and knew exactly what to do with it. 

I’d like to introduce the new-and-improved, Tempeh Salad Sammies. 

This time, i’ve simplified the ingredients, added Kale, and re-written the instructions so anyone can make this in under 30 minutes. And it’s still vegan.

But wait, there’s more. 

Some friends of mine were inquiring about what I eat for lunch everyday. 

And while leftovers are almost always my answer, I do like to mention this recipe. 

Easy to make, keeps fresh, is perfect on sandwiches, and Holy-Obamacare are they delicious. But don’t take my word for it, try them for yourself. 

Make this because: You need this recipe to make better sandwiches. And hey, we all know they’re your favourite. 

Ingredients:

1 t, each - Paprika & Turmeric

1 t, each - S&P

1 package, Tempeh

1 large carrot, grated (or cut into very small pieces)

1/4 bunch, Kale

1/2 T, Lemon juice

2 T, Mayonaise (or vegan substitute)

2 slices, delicious bread

lettuce

a pickle, for the side

Directions:

This. Is. So Easy.

Cut and Steam your kale. The smaller the pieces, the better. 

While steaming, cut your Tempeh into small strips.

Drop in the steamer when the Kale is done. You can put the kale aside for now. 

Wash & grate your carrots. 

Now, add your spices to a bowl and mix well. 

Once your Tempeh is done, remove and let sit in a bowl in the fridge for 5 mins, just to cool down. 

Now, mash your tempeh with a fork. Mash it good. Then add it to your spices along with the carrot and kale. 

Stir in lemon juice and mayo (or Veganaise) and mix like crazy. Or not. Your call. 

Once done, chill in the fridge and prep your bread. 

Lettuce, Onion, Pickle, Sprouts. Whatever your heart desires. 

Now, scoop on your delicious tempeh mix and dig in. 

And this, my dear friends, is one of the best sandwiches you will ever eat.

Don’t forget to share with your pals. They deserve it. 

Thanksgiving Stuffers

It’s that time of year again. The time when vegetarians everywhere flock to the grocery store, buy a Tofurkey, and pretend we aren’t bothered by the increased sales of frozen turkeys and hams. 

But it doesn’t have to be that way. Why not get creative, spend an hour making these delicious, healthy Stuffers, and find a new tradition to celebrate. 

I went home last minute to honour the engagement of my Brother to his long time GF, and was at a loss of what food I should make for thanksgiving dinner. 

My family was doing a giant ham, so i knew I was SOL for the most part. But I am always lucky enough to know that there will be A TON of veggies. So my only concern was the ‘main.’

After searching my cupboards, I realized I would need to either buy a Tofurkey, or get creative. 

Ballinifad (the small Hamlet where my folks reside) doesn’t have a store that would carry Tofurkey. So i knew what had to be done. 

These took less than an hour to make and turned out WAY better than even I expected. And the health benefits… get outta town. 

Make these because: You drop one of these on anyone’s plate, veggie or not, and you’ll get a great response from them.

Ps - My folks LOVED THESE. So did everyone at the table. A huge hit. 

INGREDIENTS

1 Cup, Gluten Flour (or more to desired texture)
1 Can, Lentils - rinsed
1t, each, Garlic & Poultry Seasoning
1 T, paprika
1/2 C, Breadcrumbs (plus more for dredging)
1/8 Cup, Soy Milk (or alternative)
1 Box, Stuffing (or homemade)
6 Brussels Sprouts + a carrot (optional)
1 cube, veggie bouillon boiled in 2 Cups, Water
Liquid Smoke to taste (2-4 squirts, optional)

DIRECTIONS

Drain and rinse lentils. Mash for a minute or so, leaving some full lentils but creating a bit of a paste. 

Mix spices into in Gluten Flour and add to lentils with 1/2 cup of Broth. 

Mix gluten until meat-like substance has formed. Add 1/2 cup of breadcrumbs or less, to make it sticky but malleable. 

In the meantime, you must steam your BSprouts (and carrot if doing so), and quickly cook up your Stuffing. The more creative you are with your stuffing, the better. Think cranberries, apples, nuts, mushrooms. You name it!

Once done, mix together the BSprouts (cut up, of course) with the stuffing, and form into small balls. 

Now, Roll out a handful of your seitan/lentil mix like you would a pizza dough. 

Place the stuffing ball in the middle and fold the lentil mix over top, creating a ball. 

This takes patience (it’s easy but you must be very careful).

Now, the fun part. Add a dquirt or two of liquid smoke to your milk and stir. Dip your wrapped stuffing in, and then directly into breadcrumbs for coating. 

Drop it into a very hot pan with vegetable oil and fry on each side (turning every couple minutes) until nice and brown. 

Continue until you are done all of the mix. You WILL have left over stuffing. 

Wrap balls in in tinfoil and place in a heated oven (approx 450) for another 20 minutes. Just to make sure everything is properly cooked. You can leave it for upwards of 40 minutes, depending on how “well done” you want it. 

Remove from oven, tinfoil, and serve with All of your fav holiday veggies. 

We had green beans, potatoes, carrots, and squash drizzled with a brown sugar glaze. Oh, and if you are worried about it being dry… Gravy or White Sauce. 

BAM!

til next time, 

Dave

SPINACH AND ARTICHOKE DIP 

Ladies and gentlemen. 

Today we start a new chapter. 

The end of a long weekend. 

The start of a new season (soonish?).

And a new relationship between bread and dip.

I happened upon some silken tofu this past week and thought long and hard about what recipe to experiment with. After seeing the recipes online for Spinach/Artichoke dip, I knew I could make my own version of the classic dip. And in the process, make it a little bit healthier.  

And I admit, while mine was not 100% dairy free, you can easily substitute. So dig in, Vegans. Oh wait. Did I mention that it’s gluten free as well? Just use carrots to dip instead of bread.

Make this because: Spinach & Artichoke dip is amazing and you will love it and so will your guests and it’s not that bad for you and it has artichokes and when was the last time you cooked with them? 

Ingredients:

10-12 oz (1 pack) spinach
2, garlic cloves, minced 
2 shallots, minced
1 pack, silken tofu
1 jar, artichokes
1 t, basil
1 t, parsley
2 t, lemon juice
1/2 cup, Nutritional Yeast
1 t, Braggs
1.5 t, Salt
1/2 t, pepper
3/4 cup, cheese (or sub)
1.5 T, Oil

Steps:

Sauté garlic/onion and then add spinach. 

Meanwhile, blend all other ingredients (except cheese) in blender. 

Mix together spinach, tofu and cheese and stir. Pour into an oven-safe pan and bake in your oven at 350• for 30 minutes. 

Eat with bread. 

Oh, by the way. We ate this and liked it a whole ton! 

Note: If you have an expensive, tasty, stink cheese (for the non-vegans), or some vegan parmesan, toss some in as well. 
 

The Best Tofu Scramble I’ve Ever Had

Breakfast, amiright. Not always the easiest to make. Especially with limited time.
But I have done a few things for you to make your next meal quick, easy and satisfying.

First, I have created the best tofu scramble, perhaps, in the world. 

Secondly, I have made it without many ingredients, so you can whip this up in no time.

Finally, see number 1. Seriously amazing tofu scramble. 

Make this tofu scramble because: it’s a healthy & delicious alternative to the same breakfast crap you eat every day.

Here’s what you need:

1/2 brick, tofu

1 T, Braggs (or low sodium soya sauce)

1/4 t, turmeric

1/8 t, chipotle 

1 strip , red Onion 

Garlic (2 cloves) 

2 T, nutritional yeast

Salt

3 T, Salsa

1 Avocado 

Heat onion and garlic in pan. Press your tofu (drain the water). 

Now, in a bowl, mash your tofu with a fork until all of the pieces are broken up. 

Add turmeric and chipotle (+ a teaspoon, salt), mix, then add to pan with garlic & onion.

After a few minutes, add your nutritional yeast and braggs. Mix well. Add salsa in the final few minutes. 

Now, You’re done! Top with avocado and grin like you’ve never grinned before. You deserve it.

Serve with hash browns, toast, or in a wrap (with lettuce, cheese, ranch or whatever)!

For serious though. This is the most epic of meals. 

We just sat down and demolished them in seconds. 
Well worth your time, and it costs next to nothing to make. 

This past weekend I met a new friend that told me all about Depanneur.  I’ll sum up its importance for you like this: I might be able to guest Chef there. Imagine that?

Now, whether this happens is a bit of a long shot (for now). But I sure would like to, and I have the perfect idea for a meal:
 

JUDGE DREDGE
Nori Marinated Tofu in beer batter, aka the “Fish”
Chips
Mushy Peas
Tartar Sauce

Everything will be vegetarian, and Vegan (minus the Tartar sauce - although you can make it vegan in a heartbeat). Tonight I did my first trial run of the recipe, and after an hour in the kitchen, I had a successful first attempt.

I also made sure to have a helping hand (both in the kitchen and at the table afterwards) to test the brilliance of the faux fish. We were both incredibly impressed with the texture, taste and look and think it would go over well with the fine folks at The Dep.

Now unfortunately, I cannot post the recipe… YET. I will be working out a few kinks over the next few weeks, but I do have a picture to share. I’ll be sure to keep you posted on my progress and will share the recipe as soon as I have it mastered. 

For now, I’ll let you salivate over the great pic above, and wait eagerly by your computer for an invitation to join me for a meal. 

Dave.