shove it down your pie hole.

GLUTEN - BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!

So… I’ve been having a lot of conversations with people who have recently seen their diets drastically change. Mostly due to allergic reactions, I now know more than a handful of people who cannot eat Avocado. OR CHEESE. And I’m not talking about my vegan pals who are making a conscious decision. Instead, I mean the people who wake up one day and can’t eat their fav foods!!! And yes, this is totally a thing. I suggest you get allergy tested, you lazy bum. That grilled cheese sandwich you ate last night? Could be worse for you than you think. 

HOWEVER, in true Dave Lock fashion, I will switch the topic without any hesitation, and discuss this amazing seitan recipe I’ve just concocted. I tested a few other recipes and ultimately, Mine is probably the best. Although I found one that used chickpea flour and that sounds pretty slick, but whatever. I get style points for doing it in my underwear. 

This is the easiest seitan recipe I could make for you. So make it, before you become allergic to gluten and wish you’d tried this. Which will happen. 

1.5 cups Broth

1.5 cups Gluten Flour

1/4 t: Garlic, Onion Powder, Turmeric, Cumin 

1/8 t: Poultry Seasoning, Pepper, Thyme 

1T : Braggs (liquid seasoning)

1/2 T: Paprika

1 T: Oil

6 squirts, Liquid Smoke

Mix all dry ingredients together. Now hear this. I use those spices because I like them. But there is nothing saying you can’t use other spices if you are looking for a different flavour. Imagine a Garam masala seitan? That would be off the hook. 

So just do what you want. We don’t judge here. 

Okay, back to it. Stop being distracting.

Mix all wet ingredients together (separate bowl) and allow to cool. 

Combine and stir until desired texture is reached (you may want to add more gluten flour at this point). 

Knead and set aside for ten minutes. 

Knead once more and you have seitan. Almost. 

Boil some water and set a steamer on top. Your options include: a colander, strainer, or legit steamer. All work the same. 

Cut your seitan into the shape of your desire. Steamed seitan is great for sausages but you could do a loaf, burgers or whatever else you can think of. STARS!!!

Wrap in tinfoil and steam for minimum 30 minutes. Also, make sure you are not piling the seitan on top of each other. It HAS to be even if you want them to cook. 

Once done, remove and let cool for ten. And yes, you can totally peel back the tinfoil and take a look. It’s okay. I get you. 

So that’s kind of it. 

I just steamed a crap ton of seitan then cut it into mini tiny baby strips and slow cooked it into pulled ‘pork.’ What have you done today? SPIDERMAN!

Til next time, 

Dave